Thursday, September 9, 2010

Editing and Identity Crisis

Just got a cup of coffee, nice and hot. Sitting down to edit some pictures. I am having an identity crisis of late. Up til now if meeting someone for the first time, I would tell them, if asked what I do, that I am unemployed. The other day I realized that I can tell people that I am a photographer. I may not make much money doing it after factoring in the money I spend on props and templates and the gas to and from shoots and my costs of the prints I sell my customers, plus the taxes I have to pay on every cent I make. But, I still do make a little money and so I guess that makes me a photographer. I sometimes am confused and scared to go out on a limb. In my mind I am too insecure to go further with my editing. I edit pictures sometimes and they look really awesome but I'm so scared to show them to a client because it's "different" I edit pictures of my own kids differently. For example here is a picture I took of Henry edited several different ways.

Up until recently I probably wouldn't have even shown this picture to my client. He's not looking at the camera so it can't be a good picture, right? I don't know, I happen to love this picture. It's so Henry. I love how his toes are curled up on the ground. I love how he is just looking down at the ground like he's thinking of how he's going to torture his sister when we get home. I would be disappointed if another photographer had taken this picture and decided to reject it just because he's not looking at the camera. I need to get over these insecurities I have and just be the artist that I want to be. If I think an image looks good, my client probably will too. I need to stop assuming what my client will or won't like.

I want to create art, I don't want to be your every day run of the mill photographer. I'm not putting down those photographers, they create beautiful portraits and I'm not knocking that. It's just not what I want to be. I need to decide what kind of a photographer I want to be, find my style and stick with it. I want customers to come to me for portraits because no one else can do what I do, not because my price is lower or because I'm the first photographer that came up when they did a Google search.

I want to be respected for my work. I want people to have the pictures I do of them and their children displayed not just as a picture of their child but as a work of art. I have recently started telling people that I am a photographer, I want to one day tell people that I am an Artist. I hope to get there one day!

1 comment:

John P said...

The artist is almost always his or her own worst critic. I think it's a great photo.